There is nothing more romantic other than the
giddy days after you ask your sweetheart to marry you. Now is also the perfect
time to start to prepare for one of the most essential aspects of a successful
marriage: Money.
Before you grunt that bringing money into the marriage equation will
bring the death of romance, remember that money issues are cited as one of the
top reasons for divorce, just behind infidelity and communication problem. If
promising fidelity and good communication are not romance-killers, then
preparing financially shouldn't be one, either.
Here are money moves you and your betrothed
should make the moment you choose to get married:
1. Share Your Money Backgrounds
As you and your fiancé should know about each other's health,
family, romantic, and work backgrounds, it is essential that you share
financial backgrounds with each other. This starts with the obvious, such as
outstanding debts and current assets. It's not possible to move forward
financially as a couple if you do not already know where you are and keeping
financial secrets from each other is an emotionally unsafe way to start a
marriage. But understanding each other's money background also includes knowing
how you each think and feel about money. The way you view money is generally unconscious
and tied to how you feel about everything from relationships to success.
2. Start a Wedding Fund
A wedding is a blissful event, but the finances can create some
complications. This dynamic can get more pronounced when the extended family is
paying for some portion of the wedding. To reduce this friction, create a
wedding fund, and transfer money to it regularly. This will help you create the
financial freedom necessary to say no to those who attach strings to wedding
money.
3. Set Financial Ground Rules
There are few couples in the world who are not driven a little
crazy by each other's financial habits. We just had different expectations for
fun money. Financial ground rules allow you to both feel comfortable within the
framework of your finances. You may also set rules on spending thresholds over
which you have to discuss issues before spending the money, or how you may use
joint accounts.
4. Think About Worst-Case Scenarios
Marriage is a common time for people to obtain or update their
life insurance and wills. These are essential to have in place in order to
protect yourself and your spouse in case life takes a turn you do not expect.
Whether you do not yet have life insurance or a will, or you need to change
your beneficiary to your spouse. Taking the time to make sure these documents
are thoroughly completed, updated, and signed can give you both some peace of
mind.
5. Adopt a Team Mentality
One of the ways to build a strong financial basis for your
marriage is to adopt a team mentality for your money. It could be easy to see
money as "yours" and "mine," particularly if you have each
been out on your own for a while. But keeping your money separate in your mind
can be the first step toward bean counting and money fights. This is particularly
true if you have varying income levels or different money priorities. Getting
on the same team monetarily means seeing money as something you share which
means that you also share your choices about money.
There are several ways to adopt a team mentality, from circulating
all funds into a joint checking account to setting up a yours-mine-and-ours
system. But the essential thing is to recognize that you are in the same
financial boat and to treat the majority of your money as shared.
Marriage and money go hand-in-hand, and taking the time before you
wed to discuss finance is an investment in your long and happy married life.
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